I realize that by now I am a bit tired, I can’t find the desire to go out, to go around. By now the thought of going “for clubs” seems to me a stupid or at least silly thing, and it annoys me.
After all, we are almost forced to go there, for a social issue, because “everyone does it”. In the long run, after years of drinking I may think I did it only to find myself thinking it was never from me.
How I also got tired of committing myself, even of looking for some affection, women, loves.
You get tired of suffering, of getting busy, of searching, of “running after”. Not because you don’t want to, but you know, maybe you no longer have the energy to spend like you used to, or maybe you know that by now you only want to use those for things that are worthwhile.
And after years you know that it makes no sense to go “for clubs”, maybe not here, and not as a person without a job.
The weekend is supposed to be a time to unwind, I think. And instead it is used as the most classic of excuses to get drunk.
After all, I like to drink beer, I really appreciate the taste of some spirits, but in that case there is no need to drink many.
Maybe I’m getting old, or maybe I’ve simply seen, over the years that it’s often useless, to go out to clubs.
I’ve enjoyed myself very few times, and in any case never here in Lamezia, or almost never. Always in Bolo or with the right companies.
Those who are good for the heart, with whom you can get drunk, have fun, people with whom you feel protected, that’s it.
Those with whom you share moments in which you let yourself go, yes, like the theater for me.
I’m realizing, however, as by now I prefer my company to all the others. I’m alone, but I know how to do it very well.
Last night, since I couldn’t sleep because my mother had made the bed (which never happens, now it’s only me), I felt uncomfortable because I hadn’t made it again.
There is something in our minds, in our bodies, paths taken so many times, that we don’t even realize they are so perfect.
It seems that I tidy it up in a simple way, perhaps not entirely “tidy”, but it is the one that imposes my body, the one that knows that when it enters it it will feel good and say “perfect”.
So who cares if it’s seemingly simple, if it SEEMS like it’s done wrong, when in fact it’s the perfect way for me to feel comfortable, warm?
I understand that in no way can anyone know you better than yourself, and I have wanted to know myself for a long time.
We are friends with myself, now, the best.
If you learn to suffice yourself, and advance, you know that you can also stop talking your own business, maybe to those who won’t have so much trouble betraying you,
and if I say things to myself, without letting them “come out” I’ve noticed that the things that worry, annoy, or even small hints of crush, end much faster.
Maybe sometimes it’s the fire that feeds other things or people that is the problem; in my case anger has caused a lot of problems.
But if everything is limited, it ends soon.
And you also get tired of telling someone else how you feel, you get tired of everything, because you know that many things just hurt.
Suffering should only be shared when you can, because I’ve noticed that not many understand it and there are those who sometimes use it to weaken you.
And nothing, you get bored with everything, even touching them.
It seems that little remains, but in reality everything remains.
We are small, but for ourselves we are the universe.
Love each other more, especially those who have trouble doing it, and many women often seem to fall into this trap, of lack of self-esteem.
As I said in a few articles ago: happiness is not wanting.