Not my nature.

Honestly it was up to me, I wouldn’t give up. I would not have wanted to change and / or accept so many things. Now that to stop thinking about what I don’t want to think about I have started filling in gaps in different ways.

Now that the love I felt is continuing to sink into my voids, I have chosen to let it go, also to start living again, saving myself, forgiving, moving forward.

Yet I am almost afraid at the thought that it may disappear forever, I made all the right choices, yet, how is it that I am still not well, still … do I think about it?

In this hateful acceptance, this hateful and tedious passage of time, without anything changing?

I can be proud to be who I am now, to have still had the courage to do or try to do what I wanted and want to live for.

Old friends who admire my courage, old things, but also current to aim for the unattainable and impossible, or at least, so they think.

I began to let go of many things, thoughts that will gather dust, for me they have already taken it in truth.

I have forgotten many things, for some, these are forged in memory.

I tried to bury my skeletons, and now they are hidden somewhere in my desert.

And as in it, I am thirsty, as I watch the world slowly die and I realize that I am so… helpless.

I can’t help it, even if I would love to fight … but nothing.

I remain with the unanswered questions and the hopes … misplaced.

I hate so much being so far from my old nature, but that’s life, it sheds its skin.

I could have and wanted to give so much love.

“Every mistake is a sticker

That comes off if you change your skin “.

Forgive me if I still think about you, forgive if I still hope for anothe closure, for you to come back.


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