I have often wondered the meaning of many things, sometimes I could not understand, what was wrong with many things …
In life, then two things are enough, two coincidences, a moment when you turn around, or when you look a person in the eye.
A moment, a heartbeat, a breath.
You can understand many things, only by small gestures.
Here, just when you get tired of thinking about it, which is activated in your head, the possibility of reasoning about it in a colder way.
Why, one evening, two people and one in particular stares at me and I feel this gaze on me even without the need to turn to her?
I feel it, like a presence next to me.
I remember those moments, that moment when after a long time, instinctively, we looked into her eyes.
They are moments, silent languages, they are moments in which we communicate without speaking.
And I think these are the most essential ones, when it is instinct that gives you a direction, a thought. Maybe you don’t think about it so much when it happens, you are more taken by emotion, by whatever comes naturally to you.
Then you think about it, and you connect many things. You understand why she had bothered so much with a kind attitude, or put pictures of you and her where you shouldn’t have: and you understand that you are not the problem. That it is not true that they think you are a monster or a madman.
Those things triggered feelings in the other person, which she herself does not want to be moved or shaken.
So, if there is a monster, it is inside us, inside that person and the only one who can do something about it is she, and I, I cheer for her.
Because you know, I know something about it, you can block as much as you want, but she doesn’t run away from her fears, from what we have inside.
In short, from our feelings.
Fear is not towards The Flying Writer, but towards something he represents, what he unleashes. The feelings that you do not want to try, which in fact, then, you feel anyway.
Where the fuck are you running away? You and the other one my friend is in love with? You Just waste time, one day you will realize it.
It was precisely these experiences: getting back in friendship with him, hearing and meeting new people that made me reach this terrible conclusion.
Somehow, I was always… “right”, but that was what fucked me up.
I underestimated myself: it seems that many find me pleasant, likeable, and they know that I am a good man, and even those who no longer speak to me know it.
And in addition to friends, I also have to thank some women, who although I do not like them, or do not interest me in that sense, however they made me understand that … in some way, I can like them too.
I underestimated myself: I really thought they didn’t feel anything and instead… I had already hit. There was no need for me to try so hard, he already loved me.
I had to stop trying, I know.
It is said that to make her fall in love you have to make her laugh. She then she who knows how long, at least a little, she loved, she cared.
A matter of looks, as a song says.
The eyes chico…they never lie.
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