never been this far from being perfect.

I wonder if in the end, it makes sense to think about mistakes, feel sorry and try to become better people. I think of all those people who do not have those problems with me, do not have them, who have welcomed me for who I am.

I think of friendships and people I no longer have, those with whom friendship now seems unattainable. It’s not impossible, you just don’t want to do it.

But I wonder, you know, at some point what it means to think about it, if in the end we can still find someone who doesn’t expect changes, who doesn’t expect you to necessarily behave as I suppose you were or should be?

Consequently, why should I change or improve, if someone is “okay”, likes me, loves me already as I am?

This despite the fact that I have not remained the same even by force of circumstances.

But tell me, I would like to know why if we argue or something is wrong, I apologize a thousand times, you continue not to forgive me, you do not leave me the possibility of making up for my mistakes, so they remain there and I am not able to see if I can actually improve and the defects are not actually modifiable.

Yes, in short, you just wanted to accuse me and that’s it, only anger, blind fury, outbursts, like an angry cat.

So is it worth the change? Is it worth the effort if I wanted to start changing and improving myself for someone who then decided not to be part of my life anymore?

I have changed, for you, I have grown for you: now it would be a much better and different relationship, and yet, you are not there.

Yet many of us never get what we really want.

So, can we or should we do something or not? Change, is it really necessary?

I’ve discovered all my flaws and know how to improve, but I’ve never been this far from perfect. He’s never been this far from feeling good.


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