It would be Nice.

Obsession comes more when something is denied us, or when we perceive its absence, more than with its presence.

Yesterday I wrote a kind of poem, to express a thought.

It would be nice if me and a person for whom I felt something, became friends, or in any case, resumed talking without anger, or grudges. I prefer an infinite number of times that this person is in my life as a friend, rather than not at all.

They say that when you feel something, you can never be friends with the person you were in love with / attracted to … well, it happened to me with a girl, now she and I have been friends for many years, and I have never had any intention of having other than her.

So I would have been a lot less… “fixated” and done a lot less mental sawing if we were, if we could be friends, that is what I mean.

It would be perfect: I would know it is there, even without being together, because affection would surpass anything.

And I would begin to feel much better, without having to look for something, if not a bond of friendship, I would feel free.

From all anger, resentment and any feelings and thoughts it kept me in another world than the one I was in before.

I would go back to being more normal, without worries, without a huge burden that I still feel, on my conscience.

If she met someone and she would be happy, if you know, she got married, it would be nice to go to her wedding, as I was for a very dear friend of mine, whom I consider to be a sister.

I would be freer, I would also think about finding someone else more than now, and I would certainly be less pissed off.

I have been feeling perennial anger for two years, and the circumstances that I have lived and that I am living have not helped me, on the contrary, they have helped to piss me off again.

It would be nice to feel free, or to start being free.

If you get obsessed, it is more when something is denied to you than when you have it. If you have someone as a friend, you know how to appreciate that too and sometimes, even more than love.

It is much better than absence, and everything that happens, as an emotional and psychological consequence.

If you were friends, there would be nothing to say, as with my other female friends, nobody thinks and says anything.

I’d like to show the bond I have with my sisters, incredibly balanced.

Well, nothing. I hope it will happen, sooner or later, knowing that I have written dreams and hopes that I recognize as… utopias.

I apologize for writing this too.

Ps: sisters… Ross, Silvia, Ceci… I love you so much.


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