What I really want/As soon a I can, I’ll leave.

You know, I say that I will go to Bologna, the city I love and I want this to happen as soon as possible. I got tired of Lamezia, of this city that never changes, like the people who live there.

And the same thing in many other places here too.

But maybe it’s my fault, I do like the others, I demand a level of maturity and awareness, or I expect them, then I don’t find them. Well, then I have to cancel expectations, apparently.

I would like to leave because I was fine there, I felt happy, I was in my environment. Here I always see that there is some disappointment, or something that pushes me to leave.

I would certainly please many:

– Hey, don’t worry, I’ll leave as soon as I can. You can rest assured, you don’t want me, and now the feeling is reciprocated.

Yeah, but I’d be lying to myself if I said I’m not sorry, and quite a bit too.

I let myself be “screwed” by nostalgia, sometimes I look at photos in which we shared something, we laughed, we were happy.

Then, like too many times, everything becomes fucking ash, which slips through my fingers. That’s life, that’s how it always has been.

I wonder if you have ever experienced some things. But staying in this place, you haven’t seen a lot of things that I have experienced, you are left with a kid mentality, I don’t know.

I am wrong in demanding things, as you did with me. but you shouldn’t expect anything in friendship, casserole. Because you know, I didn’t mean to hate at all.

You know the problem is, I don’t want to leave, I’d rather make things right.

As much as starting a new life is exactly what I need most, and it would also be very nice and stimulating to have a new adventure, I would like to stop having things pending first, because that’s how I live it, to free myself from the burdens.

Regardless of all the advice they give you, some are just temporary relief, but never a real cure, as are many ills we experience.

Yes in short, Bologna is literally plan B.

A bit of an escape, a bit of the desire to live the life I would like, a bit many, too many things.

But only one would be enough for me.

How many fucking things do I have to do to fill a void? Escape, rebuild, lose weight, write …

And what I really want would be to put things right, repair, even the destroyed things. I would like the friendship I had, I would also like a little bit of my old self, which I liked so much.

I was in love with him.

Yes, in short, here I would be happy only with what I really want, while Bolo wouldn’t need it in the same way. It is much simpler there. I do better.

I would like to make peace with those who have quarreled, put aside the past, be a little happy here.

Also because, I would finally stop writing about it. I’m tired too.



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