Original version

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When you begin to think that in your life, you can feel good alone, you do not particularly suffer from the absence of someone, I think it is the conquest of autonomy.

Perhaps it is true that “everyone is useful, no one is indispensable”, we are the only ones, after all.

If life has taken a lot of people from us, we know the loss. Its value, its pain, its fruits. The ways it makes us more mature, but also more rotten.

The hope that the world and people can become better after the experiences is weak.

By now we understand that in life, one does not “mature”, only. We are dual in everything: one part improves, the other rots. An “equivalent exchange”, for greater autonomy. Naivety and hopes that die, but knowledge, awareness and maturity that are born and are defined by building a new personality.

Which makes me think that you can die round if you are born square.

I also often think of people with whom I no longer see myself, sometimes I think of those with whom I have chosen not to have anything to do with and how this makes me not so much better than those I have criticized so much.

I too am a hypocrite at times. I am really a human.

But thanks to these things, by now I don’t chase my desires, love, friendship, and things like that.

I chase myself into the future, knowing that I owe a lot to my past, and that somehow I want forgiveness, redemption and revenge.

By focusing my mind on the things that matter most to me, I know that no matter how much outside of me I can live, have fun, have immense pleasure in friendships, that at the end of every day, every night, there is always and only me. here.

After all, I begin to believe that friendship, love, are not things for which one should be “useful” or “essential”.

Alone, no one can stay 100% there, even if I lived alone in the house, I would still like to have the city with me.

You simply know that you cultivate friendships, that there are some that you prefer, but also that one day for one reason or another we might separate, so you really need to learn to be enough, to complete yourself, especially in this world where it seems that nobody wants anything. of permanent.

Maybe they are still too immature to want it, they still want to delude themselves that they have time, still delude themselves that they are eternal, but none of this exists.

Unfortunately, we don’t have the power to change the world.

I will be presumptuous, but I know I have understood life much better than many who say that I have not understood them, that “the essential” does not exist. That big words are used to define… nothing.

I don’t need someone to tell me: “good”, I just want to achieve the goals without compliments, without gifts, without rewards.

Since that, perhaps, is simply having reached the place where I wanted to go.

And you know that that goal, after all, is always me in the future.

As well as what I miss, it is always me, in the past, with those people with whom I enjoyed being.

But now I know that if there were any quarrels, if I can solve it well, otherwise, oh, I’m fine by myself.

As I know that I don’t give a damn about the opinion of others about my lifestyle, about my body … Today I went for a run, for example, a jerk who I don’t know who he was, greets me first, then when I pass I he does “good”, when I was blatantly ignoring him.

I rationalized almost immediately, instead of taking it, as too many do here, realizing that thinking about it too much would only waste my time, that the next day I wouldn’t see it, that it was just a speck on a day like many others … and that therefore it is useless to react, since it brings nothing.

And therefore, he can tell me “good” as much as he likes, everyone can say it, but I don’t run for that, I do it now for passion, without even having in mind, necessarily, the goal of getting fit.

It’s just me and everything I do for myself.

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