Italian version here.
Is it right to focus on the mistake? On the flaw? And for how long? Sometimes, when I talk to someone, they seem to consider only those.
Only the flaws, only one side of the matter. It is always in the wake of either black or white, after all.
I don’t understand why, when I talk to someone, they just look at my mistakes, often, without considering the good things, and also forgetting my feelings, my guilt, and my pressing desire to make up for it.
Nothing, nothing can be done about it. After the error there is nothing, there is no life after this “death”.
Yet it would also be a simple adult and mature person, to give a system to things, situations, broken relationships, instead of ignoring oneself and continuing to blame oneself all the time. It should be so, naturally.
Then, to hear some people, not only does it seem that you have just made a mistake, but you don’t even understand what they are anymore.
You feel suffocated in the midst of this story, right? It seems you’ve only done things wrong, as if nothing else exists, not even the good. Even if you are a good person.
Besides, when you talk to certain people, they seem to have eaten a dictionary. Yet I am able to improve after making a mistake.
It should be normal. Not simple, not easy, but normal.
In certain situations, however, it seems that there are only the defects, only the negative sides, and only the incredible impossibility of understanding each other.
And I don’t tolerate being suffocated by all this, just as I can’t stand having to always find myself with the same “solutions” or answers.
Always without ever doing anything about it. Letting go, scrolling. It all ends, and it ends in a shitty way.
Only my mistakes, only my faults, and those of the other person. Just to think you were “wrong”.
And after making a mistake, he corrects himself, right? Or is this life an immense school, where you just fail, without giving the student the opportunity to recover?
This life and these relationships are just an immense jungle with the law of the strongest, or most stupid.
And therefore, it no longer matters what you think, so it would seem. Because if you’re just wrong, you look like a jerk, a fool, if you know what I mean.
Yes, as if your way of seeing it had no value, as if what you think and feel, are nothing but a flood of things that (as they say), “do not exist”.
For someone else “it’s not worth it”, for you it is.
So what matters? What I think, or not?
Of course yes.
We all make mistakes, we are human. I do not understand the excessive condemnation and repetition of a person who knows very well that he has made mistakes.
And often, it seemed to me that I was treated as if I had no thoughts or feelings, as if what I have inside for someone else had no value; because for them, “it doesn’t exist”.
And does this not give me the same right to think the same things?
Perhaps, I too can not think that other people are also wrong, and, above all, wrong to think certain things about me? Groped to decide “for me”, my mistakes, and what is worth or not, for me?
Is it just the mistake that matters? I do not believe.
And I don’t understand why people just watch that.
Do you want my opinion? I seriously believe that many people have the “comfort” of accusing others, in order not to see their mistakes, in short, self-defense: “it is always others who make mistakes”.
But, I repeat, should we focus only on the negative side? If we do, we risk dying, and doing it really badly.
I would like, for example, one day, to see something good from this whole situation that I have experienced recently, and from the people, with whom I am unable to reconcile, to remedy, to recover.
I must and should be me, after all, to stop focusing on mistakes, on the past, and finally, forget.
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Una replica a “Mistakes. (Are they the only thing to focus on?)”
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