I feel alive,
yesterday, I was feeling pissed, but it was like feeling all the rage of a fucking period, all at once.
It was as if I felt it, for the first time.
Last night, I felt myself breathe,
as if it were the first time I did it. I finally feel alive, as I wanted. I feel like I’ve become the man I’ve always wanted to be.
And, as such, I feel it’s also time to live the life I’ve always wanted to live, for real.
I feel like I am emerging after being in the water for a very long period of time.
I feel like, after putting a lot of water in my lungs, I am now breathing again.
I’m not sure what it was …
I feel like, for a year, I’m dead, no, I feel like I’m living for the first time, just now, despite being 32 years old.
As if now that I open my eyes, when I wake up, it’s the first time I’ve done it. I feel reborn.
As if only now, I began to live my life, to have in mind my goals, my dreams, what I want, what I want to be.
I am grateful to have met you.
She opened my eyes to many things. It is as if, now that I have lost it, I have begun to live more carefully.
Why does one always have to suffer in life?
I do not know.
It’s strange, but only by being sick, we grow.
It is only with some trauma, that we realize everything … And then, it is right to thank, rather than hate the person you loved.
Always hoping that one day we can be together again.
I believe that finally,
many things have passed. I believe that I can accept and love my anger, my self, in full. And finding love for me, and real self-esteem. And I am left with a certainty …
That if I ever meet her again, between us, things would be fine.
And I wish her the best of lives, though, always thinking that there is me in her, as she is in mine.
During this period, you exposed me to weaknesses, weaknesses. Things I had hidden.
At one time, I thought there was like a “button” inside me that I never press, so as not to piss me off.
It is as if in the last year and a half, there were a thousand buttons on display: the things that bothered me had multiplied.
And it wasn’t just her, it wasn’t just that situation that triggered the “whirlwinds of thoughts”. No.
I wanted and still want to change my life, to live in one where I don’t lose the S ***, but one where I take them back.
Live in the world I really want.
Meeting this person rocked me to the ground. Luckily I decided not to have hated her, otherwise I would never have risen up, I would never have grown up.
Stronger than any spoken word, any quarrel …
“Louder than words” …
and it is only by returning to live that you realize it. Thank you, S ***, from the heart, from the heart that still loves you. My invincible
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