“Find a way”, I tell myself.
“Find a way to live the way you really want,
instead of making forced decisions,
just because you can’t.
You have to succeed! “
I have a duty
towards myself.
I made promises.
Of the promises I don’t know how to keep,
but I’m too honest and true to myself,
than not carry them out,
it would be unacceptable.
It would be easy to go back in time.
It would be easy,
to be able to make other choices.
I have to find a way …
Because you know,
it’s so nice to tell me,
from nothing you speak from,
from which you speak to me,
that “I have to go on”,
when you are the first,
that does not go on.
Forgive me,
but you are a big fat hypocrite.
And, I realize that having listened,
to people like you,
it was a lot of bullshit.
Very well,
it will mean that I will take it
the consequences.
Indeed, already done.
Many people,
takes it by the ass alone,
day after day.
And that’s my problem,
that’s why “I have to find a way”.
Because that’s what I really want.
And this is also the problem:
be happy
only when you get it,
what you really want.
That person,
those people, that place,
without having to leave.
So,
I am a dreamer.
And in this damn 2020,
and a little bit this 2021,
they disheartened me.
They obviously killed the trust in me,
and in many other things.
I can not do it.
Yet, this is my life …
And I free myself a little, as if I were writing,
one of those “blank sheets” …
At a certain point,
the truth is that the only thing I really want,
would FIND A WAY,
FIND THE WAY,
to get them back, to come back, to stay here.
Every time I think about the final farewell,
from my land,
my heart aches.
And I miss you, I miss you so much …
And I don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions anymore
and I understood so much,
and I’m so sorry,
and I miss you a lot.
And I would like to find a way …
I would like to find a way.
I would like to find the way.
S ***,
M ***,
P ***,
Myself.
I would like to find a way.
I would like to,
to find
the way.
It has truly become,
the way,
for me, to live.
More than anything else in the world …
I love you.
And I would like to find a way …
Find a way.
Find it.
I tell me,
while I bleed inside,
i can’t,
but I would love to do it,
one day I would like,
i am so convinced,
is my key
of happiness.
Of my happiness.
Reaching the unattainable,
make possible,
the impossible.
Italian version: https://loscrittorevolante.com/2021/06/26/poesiatrova-un-modo-2/
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